About the Blarrrg: Hey there! This feature allows you to get the daily inside scoop on what's happening with The Showgram. Captain Carl (get it? It's a pirate thing...) will deliver the goods, including morning show reviews, commentary and inside info. • Complete Blarrrg Archives: click here. • Blarrrg FAQ: click here.
So after we spoke about the IRS Disaster Relief yesterday - see the Blarrrg - it was broadcast by all three of the stations that carry 10pm news. To take advantage of this you, the listener, should write in red “Missouri Severe Storms & Flooding” at the top of the forms.
JC’s tax preparer is Stella Worms with Rubin Brown. John uses Tom Birsinger from South City. Mine is my cousin, Bob Mielziner, C.P.A in Clayton.
Your taxes are due today. According to an IRS report, the average American spends 26½ hours & spends $207 in out-of-pocket costs preparing their tax form. (The cost includes people who do their own taxes.)
That means that the average tax refund, which is just over $2,400, is actually more like $2,200 when all is said & done.
A random sample of annual salaries in the US:
-- Astronomer: $96k
-- Fashion Designer: $69k
-- Court Reporter: $60k
-- Elementary School Principal: $80k
-- Paramedic: $27k
Where are your tax dollars going? (from CNBC):
One cent goes to international affairs. This money funds foreign affairs & humanitarian aid programs. (When we send medical supplies to Africa or one of our foreign embassies gets bombed and needs to be rebuilt.)
1.5 cents go to agriculture, commerce & transportation.
2.6 cents go to energy, the environment & science. This money goes toward energy, exploration & helps fund our National Parks. It also funds science programs, including NASA.
3.3 cents go to housing & community services. HUD (Housing & Urban Development) falls under this category.
3.9 cents go to government & law enforcement. Obviously, the police see some of this. But some of it pays the cost of running our justice system, Social Security system & federal disability programs.
4.4 cents go to education, training & social services, such as employment training centers.
8.7 cents go to anti-poverty programs. This money pays for food stamps & supplemental income programs for the poor, as well as foster care & adoption programs.
10.2 cents go to paying off interest on non-military debt. You know how the U.S. has about a trillion dollar deficit? Well, this is how we're paying it off.
22.1 cents goes to health care initiatives, such as Medicare.
Finally, just over 42.2 cents out of every income tax dollar goes to the military. Out of this money, 28.7 cents fund the current war, 10 cents pay off interest accrued from past military operations, and 3.5 cents go to Veterans' benefits.
Laurie please come back – she’s ill & should be back tomorrow. After three days of saying it correctly, I can’t say “Timberbrook” anymore.
All of the Cardinals will be wearing “42” for Jackie Robinson Day. (Or is it Bruce Sutter day?)
JC spoke about the former owner of the 96.3 frequency, Richard J. Miller. He had a Cease & Desist letter from JC’s lawyer blown up in the lobby of the station.
"Take your Daughter to Work Day” is next Thursday. For more information, clicky.
Now that we're half way through the month, we thought you should know that April is Sexually Transmitted Diseases Awareness Month. Every year, 19 million people get an STD & nearly half of them are between the ages of 15 & 24. One in four young women between the ages of 14 & 19 have an STD. That comes out to 3.2 million teenage girls.
In 2006, there were over 36,000 cases of syphilis reported in the U.S. Those hit hardest were men between the ages of 35 & 39 & women between the ages of 20 and 24. (I’m figuring it is recently divorced guys hitting on young babes).
Around 20 million Americans have HPV (human papilloma virus which can cause genital warts) & 6.2 million people become infected every year.
It's estimated that 50% of all sexually active people will eventually get HPV at some point in their lives.
45 million people, or one in five Americans, have genital herpes & they might not even know it. Unfortunately, there's no cure for herpes but there are medications (such as Valtrex) that can help control outbreaks.
More Busch Bash Smooshes: Bud Selig’s mispronunciation of our 2006 World Series MVP named David & Ted Danson’s Academy Award-winning wife would be “Ex-Steen-burgen.” Mrs. Tony LaRussa & the pitching brothers for the Cardinals in the 90s would be “Elaine Benes.”
Smooshing for the Laurie Mac Land Seats: The team we play this weekend & the HMO financial responsibility would be “San FransisCo-Pay.”
What did we do before tasers?
We did our Four Seasonsx4 contest. Jersey Boys is coming to the Fox. Our prize packs feature four tickets to the show, Feraro’s Jersey Style Pizzas in Soulard & the grand prize includes an overnight stay at the aptly named hotel. We found a Frankie Valli/Four Seasons song JC likes called “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” (& as my sister Anne reminded me, it was featured in Mel Gibson & Julia Roberts’ Conspiracy Theory).
The JoY was stand-up from Bill Burr. The 3fA featured money songs from The Beatles, Steve Miller & Pink Floyd. The Vault was acoustic Police doing “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.”
Finally, the old quiz show “College Bowl” was featured in Diner:
Don't Do Anything Stupid,
Carl The Intern
Captain Carl (The Intern) SHOWGRAM LINKS:
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