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Thursday, 3/13 --
Hello, everybody. I apologize in advance if I said anything wacky today. Also sorry if I miss anything; as I’m more distracted than normal today.
Is calling a woman a “seven-diamond whore” a compliment or an insult? Here’s Elliot Spitzer’s “girlfriend’s” MySpace page: click here.
As an escort for the Emperor's Club, she went by the name of "Kristen" but her real name is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. (Actually, her birth name is Ashley Youmans, but she changed it back in 2006.)
She's five feet, five inches tall, 105 pounds, 34C-23-34. She has long, brown hair & a body that makes you understand how rich dudes could hand over several thousand dollars an hour to her. But she also looks like someone who wouldn’t talk to me in a bar.
Here are the lyrics to Ray Stevens’ “Ahab, The Arab” (a top 5 hit from 1962) from some song lyric website:
(intro: Arabian flute)
Let me tell you about Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burning sand
He had emeralds and rubies just drippin' off 'a him
And a ring on every finger of his hand
He wore a big ol' turban wrapped around his head
And a scimitar by his side
And, every evenin', about midnight
He'd jump on his camel named Clyde, and ride
[Spoken] Silently through the night to the sultan's tent where he would secretly meet up with Fatima of the Seven Veils, swingingest grade "A" number one US choice dancer in
the sultan's whole harem, 'cause, heh, him and her had a thing goin', you know, and they'd been carryin' on for some time now behind the sultan's back and you could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say (imitate Arabic speech and finish with "Sold! American) which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde!" and Clyde'd say, (imitate camel sound), which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"
Well, he brought that camel to a screechin' halt (verbal screeching sound) In the rear of Fatima's tent Jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner And into the tent he went. There he saw Fatima layin' on a zebra skin rug With [Spoken in falsetto and possibly with female backups] "Rings on her fingers & bells on her toes and a bone in her nose ho, ho."
[Spoken] There she was, friends, lyin' there in all her radiant beauty, eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate, bowl of chittlin's, two bananas, three Hershey bars, sipping on a RC co-cola listenin' to her transistor, watchin' the Grand Ole Opry on the tube, readin' a Mad magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor?" Yeah, Ahab walked up to her and he say, (imitate Arabic speech), which is Arabic for "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby.!!" Ha, ha, ha!! You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug, give him one of the sly looks,
She said (suggestive giggles, then outright laughter) "Crazy, crazy, crazy baby!"
('round and around and around and around, and around and around and around)
Yeah, and that's the story 'bout Ahab the Arab
The sheik of the burnin' sand
Ahab the Arab, the swingin' sheik of the burnin' sand.
Ready for the HD? Super Hi-Vision, also known as Ultra High Definition Video, UHDV, Ultra High Definition Television, UHDTV and UHD is an experimental digital video format, currently proposed by NHK of Japan.
Would you, the listener, rather have a four-day work week where all you did is work or the five-day one where you could goof off?
Laurie believes that most people really only work two or three hours a day, no matter how much time you spend “at work.” She knows this because that’s what she does.
Robert Iger, President & CEO of the Walt Disney Corporation says “In the years ahead, broadband on the computer will be the primary source of entertainment for kids. It’s just as important to them as the TV set now.”
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced that the rate of syphilis in the U.S. is up for the 7th straight year. Overall, the national rate of syphilis rose 16% in just the last year & since 2000, it's up by an insane 76%.
If someone tells you that the Virgin Mary is on the sun and you burn your retinas trying to see it, then you are an idiot.
In a recent survey, men from the U.K. were asked to describe the traits their ideal woman would possess. They found (in this order) that the perfect woman has:
1.) Blue eyes
2.) Long, blonde hair
3.) Occasionally wears glasses
4.) Five feet, eight inches tall
5.) Weighs approximately 133 pounds
6.) Is between a size six and a size eight
7.) Good in bed
8.) Earns less than $50,000 a year
9.) Is extremely fit
10.) Is very good looking
11.) Has a "wacky" personality
12.) Has her own house or apartment
13.) Is optimistic
14.) Has her own car
15.) Doesn’t have kids
16.) Drinks occasionally
17.) Loves "clubbing" or going out to the bars
18.) Doesn't smoke
83 billion e-mails are sent around the world every day. That's 2 million emails sent every second. But an estimated 71% of the emails are either spam or viruses. We're so obsessed with email that even when we're not sending one out, we constantly check our in-box. At work, the average person checks their box 30 to 40 times an hour.
John thinks that Claire McCaskill would make a good veep candidate.
The seven senators who have sworn off earmarks:
Richard Burr (R-NC)
Tom Coburn (R-OK)
Jim DeMint (R-SC)
Russ Feingold (D-WI)
John McCain (R- AZ)
Claire McCaskill (D-MO)
Barack Obama (D-IL)
JC, John & Dave respect police officers & firemen. Laurie & I weren’t given the opportunity to pander.
The Seven Deadly Sins:
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
The Vatican newspaper published an interview with Bishop Gianfranco Girotti (head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, the Vatican body which oversees confessions and plenary indulgences), in which he listed seven modern social sins:
Environmental pollution
Genetic manipulation
Accumulating excessive wealth
Inflicting poverty
Drug trafficking and consumption
Morally debatable experiments
Violation of fundamental rights of human nature
We had Lou Garesché from Dierdorf & Hart’s Steak House on-the-air with us this morning. He told us about the closing of the downtown location. But we stress that the Westport location is thriving. JC appreciated the steak soup.
The JoY was “How’s Your Whole Family?” by Red Peters. The 3fA featured Warren Zevon (& Adam Sandler). The Vault was “I Believe” by Robert Plant. Finally, birthday girl Dana Delaney was in Exit to Eden.
Don't Do Anything Stupid,
Carl The Intern
Captain Carl (The Intern) SHOWGRAM LINKS:
• Showgram Home Page: click. • Current Showgram Photo Gallery: click. • 12 Days of Christmas 2007 Recap: click. • New Busch Stadium photos: click. SHOW ARCHIVES
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