About the Blarrrg

1. Don’t go out & drive in the snow.
2. Clean off your entire car (although it is illegal to have snow fly off your car, it is not illegal to leave snow on your roof & hood – all glass & lights must be clear).
3. Don’t talk on the cell phone.
4. Turn on your lights.
5. But don’t drive with your hazards on.
6. SUVs shouldn’t “drive too fast for conditions.”
7. On the other hand, don’t drive too slowly in the left lanes.

Today’s Christmas songs: “Santa Claus was Goin’ to Town” and our three for all tunes, Dr. Elmo’s “Going on a Date with Santa,” Bob River’s “Yellow Snow” & (not) Devo’s “Wrap It.”

Our 12 Days of Christmas featured the Life of the (Office) Party. Karl knew:

1. The Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows charges for Camel Rides (& a Laser Show).
2. One should bounce a Christmas tree to see if it’s fresh.

On another Christmas note, don’t damn the Godless-heathen JC for celebrating the holiday season. Be happy he’s celebrating the Lord’s birth. Yours is not to judge.

As one of you, the listeners, said “Hey @$$wipes, Remember the Beatitudes –
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land.
Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice's sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

25% of women say the proposal is more important than the wedding.
37% of women would think of proposing to a man.
34% of women would get married on the reality teevee.

A new study gives the reasons men don’t have sex with their wives:

1. She’s not adventurous enough.
2. She doesn’t enjoy it.
3. They’d do it with another woman, but not her.
4. He’s bored.
5. She’s gained weight.
6. “Technical difficulties”
7. He prefers porn.
8. He’s having an affair.
9. He’s too tired.
10. He’s not interested in sex at all.
11. He’s gay.

Who’d We See?

Laurie: Friday – she spent the afternoon shopping, including the Apple Store in the Galleria and then to Fuzio for Mac & Cheese.
Saturday – she went to Ron & Joy’s holiday party, where she met Debra Bass, the fashion editor of the “local daily newspaper.” She also had an issue when she was hanging some vintage clothing hooks in her freshly pained bedroom; so she got drunk with her husband while watching their favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard.
Sunday – she spent the day wrapping gifts.

John: Friday – he hanged Christmas lights.
Saturday – one of his daughter’s basketball games, then to another daughter’s cheerleading (all games involving Ulett women were lost). The cheerleaders went to the mall during the snowstorm for a party. They stayed at the mall too long & John had to go get her, while a neighborhood kid got stuck on a hill in the snow. They arrived at John & Cindy‘s party a bit late.
Sunday – tailgating & hanging more Christmas lights.

JC: Friday - had a bad waitress at a “local Italian restaurant” & still tipped 20%.
Sat – he ran errands and didn’t go to Fox 2’s Christmas party due to the weather. He also found out that his daughter has been on two dates, but not really “dates” (even though they were).
Sun – he ate at Fast Eddie’s and then watched the “Dexter” finale.

Me: Friday – I went to the dentist & then solo-parented while my wife went out with her friends.
Saturday – My wife went to the Daughters of the American Revolution Christmas party while my daughter & I went to a birthday party for Leah (Happy Birthday, Leah). We started to go out to look at Christmas lights. We left at 6pm and went to the Shrine at Our Lady of the Snows, we were gonna go to Grant’s Farm, but on the way back, ya know – during the thundersnow, we changed our minds. So we went to my sister’s apartment & had little pizzas & beer.
Sunday – Football & hockey (both games where I provided the music were lost).

Captain Carl’s Buried Treasure was the name of our new Showgram segment in January “The Pre-Wind.” The JoY was “the Physics of Santa” from 1995. The 3fA featured Christmas songs (& will all week). The Vault was “Part of the Plan” by the late Dan Fogelberg. Finally, on this date in 1969, Tiny Tim married Victoria Mae Budinger (“Miss Vicki”) on “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,” a publicity stunt which attracted 40 million viewers.

Don't Do Anything Stupid,
Carl The Intern