About the Blarrrg

And, no, not the “Star Wars Christmas Special,” it sucked.

Alan leaves desk drawers open & Laurie likes closing them. John’s wife doesn’t like his calorie counting thing. He doesn’t like the fact she keeps putting something in front of a light switch. My wife doesn’t like … let’s just say I’m lazy. (Actually, she says I work harder and am nicer at the office than I do/am at home). I think she leaves too many lights on in the house.

Hot chicks at Fox 2: April Simpson, Teresa Woodard, Angela Hutti & of course – Shawn Lindsey.

Laurie & Alan lived apart for 22 months, due to work – nothing sinister. When they moved back in together he had to stop “living like a boy” and she had to stop “being such a girl.”

John noticed that we were early. Actually, we were “on time.” I know!

The seasons with the most heart attacks: Winter, Fall, Spring and the least occur in the Summer.

Wouldn’t it be nice to see John Ulett at the Beach Boys Indoor & Outdoor Superstore in the Chesterfield Valley this Saturday?

"A shlemiel is the fellow who climbs to the top of a ladder with a bucket of paint and then drops it. A shimazl is the fellow on whose head the bucket falls." [Rep. Stephen J. Solarz (D.-N.Y.), 1986]

20 Things You Didn't Know About Living In Space (from Discover)

1. Nearly every astronaut experiences some space sickness, caused by the wildly confusing information reaching their inner ears. In addition to nausea, symptoms include headaches and trouble locating your own limbs.

2. And those are the least of your worries. In weightlessness, fluids shift upward, causing nasal congestion and a puffy face; bones lose calcium, forming kidney stones; and muscles atrophy, slowing the bowels and shrinking the heart.

3. At least you’ll be puffy, constipated, and tall: The decreased pressure on the spine in zero-g causes most space travelers to grow about two inches.

4. Lab rats sent into space during mid-pregnancy, while their fetuses’ inner ears are developing, spawn some seriously tipsy babies.

5. No humans have yet been conceived in space, so we can only imagine.

6. A 2001 study showed that astronauts who snored on Earth snoozed silently in space.

7. But astronauts sleep less soundly; 16 sunrises a day throws a major wrench into their circadian rhythms.

8. At the start of the workday on the space shuttle, mission control in Houston broadcasts wake-up music, usually selected with a particular astronaut in mind. On the all-work, no-play International Space Station, crews wake to an alarm clock.

9. If you are ever exposed to the vacuum of space without a suit on, don’t hold your breath: Sudden decompression would cause your lungs to rupture.

10. In addition, water on the tongue, in the nose, and in the eyes would boil away. This actually happened in 1965, when a space suit failed during a NASA experiment and the tester was exposed to a near vacuum for 15 seconds.

11. Contrary to Hollywood, though, you wouldn’t explode. Lack of oxygen in the blood is what would kill you, but it would take about two minutes.

12. More explosion paranoia: Virgin Galactic, Richard Branson’s space-tourism company, reportedly considered barring women with breast implants due to fears that they might blow up.

13. John Glenn found it hard to choke down his food, but not because of the lack of gravity: Early astronauts relied on aluminum tubes of semiliquid mush, food cubes, and dehydrated meals.

14. Today astronauts can spice up their meals with salt and pepper—in liquid form. Sprinkled grains would float away, tickling noses and clogging vents.

15. Missing something? Those vents on the space shuttle and International Space Station serve as the lost and found, sucking up anything that’s floating about unsecured.

16. The shuttle commode requires that astronauts align themselves precisely in the dead center of the seat. A mock-up of the shuttle toilet, complete with built-in camera, is used to train them how to position themselves.

17. NASA tried building a bathroom into its space suits — a fitted condom attached to a bladder for men, a molded gynecological insert for women — but gave up and passed out diapers to all.

18. Returning astronauts report extreme difficulty moving their arms and legs right after touchdown, one reason why they call landing “the second birth.”

19. But some long-duration cosmonauts report that the hardest thing to readjust to about life on Earth is that when you let go of objects, they fall.

20. Better just to stay up there? Eighteen people have died on space missions, but never in space — always on the way up or the way down.

John thinks that Rodney Allen Rippy should play Joe Namath in the new movie. Sorry John, it’s Jake Gyllenhaal. Rodney Allen Rippy (b. July 29, 1968) was a child actor who appeared in the Jack in the Box commercials of the 1970s. In the spots, he was seen trying to wrap his kid-sized mouth around the super-sized Jumbo Jack hamburger. His catch phrase was, "It's too big to eat!"

According to imdb.com, Jerry Lee Lewis has had six wives:
Kerrie McCarver  (24 April 1984 - 15 June 2005) (divorced) 2 children,
Shawn Stephens (7 June 1983 - 22 August 1983) (her death),
Jaren Elizabeth Gunn Pate (October 1971 - 8 June 1982) (her death) 1 child,
Myra Lewis (12 December 1957 - 9 December 1970) (divorced) 2 children,
Jane Mitchum   (15 September 1953 - 1957) (divorced) 2 children,
Dorothy Barton (21 February 1952 - 8 October 1953) (divorced).

Fox 2 is one of two television stations in the nation that have a seismograph. Dave has it because it’s a cool gadget.

Iceland has overtaken Norway as the world's most desirable country to live in, according to an annual U.N. table published on Tuesday that again puts AIDS-afflicted sub-Saharan African states at the bottom.

Rich free-market countries dominate the top places, with Iceland, Norway, Australia, Canada, Ireland, Sweden, Switzerland, Japan, The Netherlands, France & Finland all ahead of the United States, which slips to 12th place from eighth last year in the U.N. Human Development Index. (I’ve been to the countries in bold.)

This got us talking about how I would love to move to Australia, but my wife hated the food. People called in to both support & refute my claim.

Here’s the Carson Daly joke hotline: 800.260.5107.

Randy Newman wrote Three Dog Night’s “Mama Told Me (Not to Come).”

The JoY was George Harrison’s “Miss O’Dell.” The Fab4 featured things to honor the sixth anniversary of George’s death and our Paul McCartney DVD giveaway. The Vault was “My Sweet Lord 2000” by the Quiet One. Finally, Carson Daly & Tara Reid never got married.

Don't Do Anything Stupid,
Carl The Intern