Should I join Facebook at my age?!?
6/20/2013 1:13:00 PM
When I bought my I-phone, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees,
all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook
and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses,
my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured
I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel
movements of the entire next generation. Now I keep my cell phone
in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then
going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue
tooth [it's red] I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line
at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone within 50 yards was glaring at me.
I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the
most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would
sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she
could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn
at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while
she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.
We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at
once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty
laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the
grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden
"Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those
cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't
matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was
recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."
As we get older, do we REALLY need more electronic gadgets? The TV remote and the garage door
remote are about all I can handle!